It's Difficult To Love Difficult People

There are people in my life that are easy to love.  They are pleasant and sincere.  I don't have to try to love them. Without thought, as if by gravity, my love flows forth, and I feel connected to them.  

Conversely, there are people in my life who are not easy to love.  

These people may do stupid, impulsive things or say mean things.  They may make choices that I see will cause them pain, and they won't listen to reason.  They may be defensive and prideful, and they may ignore me.  They may often do all of the above!  At times I subconsciously view them as enemies, but these people are related to me; some even share half of my chromosomes.

Even with all the agency we have, we did not choose the members of our family.  God "assigned" me to my parents, my siblings and my children.  But that must not have been difficult enough, because then I married and added to my family a husband and the whole party of people God "assigned" to him.  

And now I have the overwhelming task of LOVING all these people: this combo platter of personalities and strengths and weaknesses and quirks.  

Love one another as I have loved you sounds like a piece of cake, but I am terrible at it.

Mother Teresa said that the people we live with and see every day are "Jesus in a distressing disguise." I think it's distressing because day in and day out, my love can wear thin with the people in my family.  They bug me, and I grow weary from the effort it takes to truly love them for who they are. 

In Corinthians Paul has said, "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.  

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.  

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing."

So even if I spend my life speaking different languages and understanding all mysteries and all knowledge?  Even if I have all faith and I move mountains with it? Even if I give away every possession I have to the needy? Even if I volunteer myself to be burned as a martyr?  

I can do all those things and more, but it does me no good (profits me nothing) if my heart is devoid of charity.  This truth hasn't sunk into my being yet.  I want to say, "But look at all the good things I'm doing!"  And yet, I know what I lack.  I lack the kind of love that never fails. 



Ultimately it doesn't matter what else I do in my life……my number one life-job, my career here on earth, is not to be a mother or a sister or a wife.  These roles are just vehicles for me to learn how to love completely, without judgment or selfishness.  Thank you Paul and Mother Teresa for reminding me.