A dear friend of mine is trying to make sense of her son's mental illness. A while back she accepted the reality that his darkness of mind was a sickness and that he needed help. But it hasn't been simple: he is now trying a series of medications without much success. He is stumbling darkly through the years that could be the most carefree of his life.
I have resented God for allowing my kids' brains to be sick. Mental illness in my children has brought me to tears and to my knees. It baffles me. God has given us the wonderful gift of free agency, and at the same time, He has created our brains to be subject to conditions that handicap our ability to be truly free in our choices. What kind of gift is that? It's a confusing gift.
It's hard for me to understand that we are expected to choose well despite the earthly trappings of a mind that is sick, or a body with chronic pain, or a terminal disease such as cancer. I think this expectation that I will learn to choose the good, no matter my struggles, is what keeps me humbling searching for help from God.
Even though I am sometimes resentful toward and baffled by God, I do believe that He knows me and is aware of the way my life is unfolding. I believe I can never pretend to know the struggles of another, and that the atonement of Jesus Christ is the great equalizer.
John 16:33 says, "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."
Don't each of us inhabit our own little world? No other human can actually know what it feels like to be me. Only God and Jesus Christ can judge me with their perfect empathy and compassion.
I think the above scripture can mean that the Savior can help me overcome my world: with all it's sinkholes and typhoons and droughts. His help can come as often as I choose to let it in. I'm learning that it's possible to be of good cheer in the midst of tribulation, even when I don't have all the answers.
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