I'm ashamed to say that I employed pushy mom tactics last fall to get him to apply for the job, but I felt in my heart that God was sanctioning this experience. That it would be better than anything else he could do this summer. And it was. He learned a lot about a lot of things, most of them essential to his future success, but too boring to mention here.
I had a shock when I met his supervisor. She said, "It's been a pleasure working with your son."
"WHAT? It has?" (I seriously said this.)
When I met the director later, he gushed, "He has done a phenomenal job up here this summer. We would love to have him back next year."
To be clear, he does not want to go back, but I liked those words of praise so much, I recorded them in my brain and hit the repeat button.
It's just that I haven't heard or been able to see very many positive things about #1 in the last few years.
I realized he is progressing in many areas. I lose sight of the person he is, because his addiction is such a monster. It's hard for me to see around it.
He also loses sight of the person he is. This summer job magnified all the good he has inside him. And this kid has a lot of good inside him! I pray that God will help keep my eyes open to his goodness.
I drove home several hours by myself in the dark, dodging deer in the headlights, and munching peanut M & M's. I shed some tears as I thought about my son: how much I love him and how little I understand him.
I watched "A River Runs Through It" a few days ago. In the movie there's a son that everyone loves, but no one understands. This line stuck out to me, "We can love completely, without complete understanding."
I don't know how to do this. Any thoughts?
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