Lately I've been somewhat clenched and anxious, what with school starting and all. I've been aimlessly picking at my face and staring into space a lot.
Change makes me nervous. Guess why? Because change is new and it hasn't happened yet, therefore, I can't KNOW how things will turn out, and at times I have such little faith in God.
Why do I want to orchestrate the lives of the people I love? As if.....as if I actually knew what was best for this brood of independent souls living with me.
I loved this Anne Lamott quote on wanting to have control of other people and other stuff. [From the book "Help, Thanks, Wow]
"When we think we can do it all ourselves -- fix, save, buy, or date a nice solution -- it's hopeless. We're going to screw things up. We're going to get our tentacles wrapped around things and squirt our squiddy ink all over, so that there is even less visibility, and then we're going to squeeze the very life out of everything."
Wildflower, will you please get your "squiddy ink" out of here?
Sometimes I write my prayers.... Please God, help me let go and trust You with my life and my people. Can it be that simple?
I love that quote! Thanks for sharing! I too, have wanted, not necessarily to control, but to PLAN. I want to have a plan to deal with whatever is coming and that is not possible, because you just never know what is coming. I've been trying so hard to predict the future and plan every detail that I'm making a mess with that squiddy ink. Where's the balance in being prepared to make the next steps and driving yourself insane trying to "know" what the next steps should be?
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